The waiting game.
Do you like to wait? Not me. I can be patient with people, but not schedules. I am a bit of a control freak and I like to know what’s going on when, where and why. When one of these pieces of knowledge is not known to me, it drives me crazy!
I am now fighting down the depression “urges” that keep trying to sneak in. My emotions are all over the scale (and perhaps off it too). I know that having in faith that God is going to take care of us is what is required, but I also know that He requires us to do our part as well and not just sit back with the attitude “Ok God, drop it all in my lap”. We have taken the steps to ensure employment and income, we just don’t have a start date yet and no date of when to expect income to start coming in. This spills over into: I don’t know when we will be moving, so I can’t go looking for a house yet, don’t know what to pack yet, because I don’t know how long it will be, don’t know what to allow the kids to participate in because of timing, etc.
The anticipation of moving is still there, but the anxiety of it all is becoming overwhelming. I get up and start to pack a box and then I think “wait, we may need that before we move”. We probably won’t “need” it, but do I want to pack, unpack and repack boxes in the off-chance that we will? I don’t think so.
It’s just the frustration getting to me. On a lighter, positive note: I have 3 boxes completely organized and packed and have sorted through a ton of stuff and gotten rid of a lot of it! Yay! We are downsizing more and more as we go. It’s good.
